stay

a single night
sealed my fate.
pleading for help,
but he never came.
“who are you
to be so needy?
billions of people
are dying to meet me.
they’re worth more 
than you.
you know it’s true,
so just keep crying
in hiding
and making yourself
bruise.”
like a good little girl,
i listened for years.
however,
when i needed
to talk,
suddenly,
no one knew
how to use their ears.
i kept asking for help
and he would laugh and point.
“if you need me so bad
take this poorly rolled joint.
it matches you.
so depressing
it’s actually 
amusing.
maybe if you were
someone else,
you’d deserve
rescuing.”
if i asked
“why me?”
he’d say
“why not?”
i didn’t have an answer
i simply prayed to rot.
when i finally had 
the chance
that’s the day when
help came.
“you’re not allowed to leave
you have to stay.’
“i hate you, i hate you.
why today?
I’ve been calling for you
since i learned
the words to say. 
I could’ve finally
left the life
of a stray.
why would you do this
to me?
it hurts me
too much to stay”
“sad little girl,
i understand you hate me,
but i’ve always been here.
I'm your source of safety.
i’m only allowed to
stay by your side.
so most days
i can only watch you cry.
because of how unbearable
the pain is inside,
your big heart
has shrunken in size.
but only for yourself
and that,
i can’t understand why.
the world has hurt you
yet you keep showing love.
i wish you could see you
and look into your eyes.
i wish we could trade places
if only for a day
so you could know
exactly why
you need to stay.”

you can find the written poem on my blog. — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/storiesbynoelle/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/storiesbynoelle/support

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