unsightly

you are the worst parts of me
that I love so deeply 
but others have told me to hide 
and so I love you because you are free. 
But no one cultivated your light 
and you are so mean. 
Angrier than I could ever be 
but I’ll love your flaws the way 
I wish someone had loved mine
because I’m so jealous that you never grew
to hate the worst parts of you 
or to feel ashamed of who you were on the inside 
but if that’s the case why do you cast me aside 
when I’m trying to love you? 
I prayed for love, 
dreamed of it, 
perfected it. 
Why don’t you want it? 
Is it because I don’t look as damaged as you? 
Have I hidden my true self too well? 
Are you judging me the way others judge you? 
Am I stuck in a loop?

You can find the written poem on my blog. — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/storiesbynoelle/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/storiesbynoelle/support

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